THE WORD ‘FUCK’ IS USED A LOT IN THIS POST. SORRY! (OR, ACTUALLY, NOT SORRY?)
“How to stop spending time you don’t have, doing things you don’t want to do, with people you don’t like”
If you haven’t read this book yet, get on Amazon and get it ordered, seriously! I received it off my sis-in-law for Christmas and it’s incredible.
It’s self-help with a ‘fuck off’ attitude. If like me, you spend WAY too much time and energy worrying about stupid things then this is the perfect book for you! It helps you to stop doing things you don’t actually want to do (like going to weddings of people you don’t know, christenings of babies you’ve never met, shows you hate, play-dates with kids you don’t like, sponsoring people for charities you don’t support, not signing up to save a lion and so on, it really just depends on your list…) and gives you your time back to spend on the things you do like.
The writer makes you adopt a ‘Not Sorry’ method when deciding what you don’t give a fuck about! The essence is that because you no longer give a fuck, you won’t feel sorry for saying no!
There’s two steps to the method:
- Decide what you don’t give a fuck about
- Don’t give a fuck about those things
She makes you create two lists, things you don’t give a fuck about and things you do. Here’s mine:
Things I don’t give a fuck about
- Caring what people think – not everybody is going to like you and there is absolutely NO POINT in trying to make them. I’ve previously spent a lot of energy on trying to give a good impression and hoping people will like me and I’ve learned over the past year that your friends love you no matter what, so stop trying to impress people that don’t actually care!
- Not going to the gym – boring! I’ve stopped making myself feel guilty for not going to the gym. If I want to lie in bed throwing Domino’s chicken wings at my bracket then I will!
- Having a strong Geordie accent – I have a very strong Geordie accent and I’ve spent far too long trying to posh it up because people might think I’m thick, or common. I’ve had many a conversation along the lines of “you don’t say “X” like that, you say it like “X” – bore off. My Geordie accent is CLASS and it’s nout to be ashamed of! (Same as you Yorkshire lasses, the thicker the accent the better so don’t bloody change it!).
- Comparing myself to what I looked like when I was 20 – when I was 20 I was on my feet constantly, I had a fast paced job and was too skinny, I now work in an office and don’t get as much exercise as I’d like (see the point about the Dom’s chicken wings) so I’ve forced myself to stop looking at what I was and not to care I’m not a bloody size 8.
- People I’ve just met’s children/photos of said children – children scare the freaking life out of me.
- Politics including fucking office politics – couldn’t care less. Despite everyone’s judgey attitude – I didn’t vote in Brexit, get off my back!
- Not being middle class – Council estate lass and proud – I don’t care, no fucks given, NEXT!
- “I thought you were a bitch when I first met you” – I’ve heard this a couple of times from people I’ve never even spoken to. FUCK. OFF. I’ve learned that sentences like that say more about the person that’s saying them than the person they’re saying it to. Let people think you’re a bitch, if they’d rather judge from afar, let them get on with it!
- Family that doesn’t give a fuck about me – I’ve stopped wondering “why” and just got on with my life. Even the people who are meant to love you the most, sometimes just don’t and that’s alright. Doesn’t need to affect your life, just move on. Their loss.
- Whether you like the music I listen to – I don’t care if you like indie bands and think Craig David is crap I’m not interested.
- Auto-correcting everything – I give up on that 01/01/2017 and never looked back.
Things I do give a fuck about:
- The family that do give a fuck about me
- My boyfriend
- My friends
- Being successful – this is SO important to me, I throw myself into things 100% and need to know everything about a subject. I love work, I love learning and I love being challenged.
- Helping people
- Binge watching TV shows/YouTube
- Animals – Obsessed
- Beauty, makeup, skincare – obsessed. I LOVE these and could spend hours and hours talking/writing about them.
- Saving for a mortgage
By concentrating more on the things I love and cutting out what I don’t, I’m actually a much happier person.
The most important thing that this book has taught me is to stop giving a fuck about what people think of me and to just get on with my life AND IT FEELS AMAZING!!
Have you read it/whats on your list? Let me know! x